A Birthday Note To Me

Dear me,

Happy and Blessed Birthday!

I can’t believe you survived this past year, me. In fact, me, I can’t believe you survived the past two years. It’s been so eventful that it’s quite insane.

Let’s see, me…

You survived the immense amount of pressure when the husband’s overseas stint came to a sudden halt and survived that tough period of job uncertainty with him. Me, I think you did more than survive. With thanksgiving, you were blessed because the tables turned from there and the husband is much happier now. And when the husband is happy, me, I know you are happy too.

You survived an entire year of living with your parents again, me. It wasn’t always easy, me, because you clearly clashed with your parents when it came to parenting matters. But me, I know you are most grateful for that year because you got to spend more time with your parents too.

Me, you survived losing a baby, a baby you wanted so badly and didn’t understand why you lost it. Yet, me, you learnt to trust The Lord that He had plans and He is taking care of that baby in heaven.

Me, you survived seeing your father go through a horrible surgery, and you watched your mother be the most noble woman you know in your life. Me, always remember the example your mother has set for you. She loved and cared for your father unconditionally and stuck with him no matter how tired she was.

Me, you survived seeing your father laying in coma for two whole months! It was crazy, me, how you missed him even though he was lying right in front of you. You wished he could talk to you and you prayed so hard for him. You got mad when people spoke negatively about your father’s health and wished you could tell them to shut up. You tried your best to support your mother as she hoped upon hope for a miracle. Me, you were heavily pregnant, but that didn’t matter because all you wanted was for your father to be well.

Me, you survived the great deal of grief when your father was eventually laid to rest. You wailed and yelled, wishing he would awake, yet knowing he would not anymore. Me, in spite of that tremendously painful period, you survived, and you did what you could to help your mother survive too.

You survived, me, through an uncertain and expensive pregnancy, and delivered a healthy and beautiful baby boy. You experienced great joy, because me, you finally got to hold the little darling in your arms. You know that you will always and forever love this little fellow and protect him fiercely, the same way you do with your first born.

You survived the crazy mood swings postpartum. Well, me, let’s just say you are surviving each mood swing as it comes. You survived every extreme low that the swings have brought you. Through every episode of tears, me, you learnt to give thanks and grow a little stronger. It’s not always easy, but me, you know you can and will do better each time.

Me, you survived every tinge of guilt you felt when you feel like a failed mother towards your first born. Every time you struggle with parenting, every time you wish you didn’t lose your temper, every time you yell and regret, every time you force yourself to reconcile no matter how angry you are, every time you hug your first born in your arms and don’t want to let go because you love her too much. You survived motherhood, me, and you are surviving it every day, one tantrum at a time, one proud moment at a time.

You survived, me, and you know you could not have done it better if it weren’t for your husband. He stood by you, me, in spite of his own pains and fears. He was silent when he knew you needed silence. He was mad at you when you needed to be jolted out of your craziness. He pushed you along when you needed motivation. He walked with you through every single event, whether happy or sad. Be thankful for this man, me. I know you are.

Most of all, me, always give praise and glory to The Lord. Sure, there are events that you don’t understand and struggle with, but me, you know The Lord is always with you. In Him, you did more than survive. You conquered.

You are so blessed and so loved, more than you know.

As you look back, me, remember to look forward too. Learn from the past and hope for the future. Because great days await, and they are beginning, just as you finish writing this.

To a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a cousin, a niece and a friend, a person of many roles, me, have a wonderful birthday. Love yourself, and no matter what life brings, count your blessings every day, and always strive to bless others too.