The Need For Constant Assurance

Breyen is now an exploring toddler who likes to run around and climb whatever he thinks can be climbed. He is also starting to display more character and like most toddlers, he has many funny antics that tickle us to no end. Because of what he does, husBenKoh and I have a tendency to say “Why are you so funny? You are so cute!” and the likes of such statements.

Unbeknownst to us, Phoebie has been observing us and taking in our every comment to her younger brother. Although she may be busy colouring her books or playing with her toys, she listens to every thing we say to her brother.

How do I know this? Because whenever we tell Breyen that he’s smart for something or that he is so cute, Phoebie will ask, “What about me?”

HusBenKoh and I don’t love Phoebie any less than I love Breyen, but because Breyen is younger, a lot of what he does is a big achievement and we tend to make a big fuss out of things. Our encouragement for Breyen is verbalised more often than for Phoebie.

With Phoebie’s recent response, I realised that she needs more assurance of our love that I thought. When I tell Breyen that he is cute and that I love him, I must remember to tell Phoebie that she is special and I love her too.

The last thing I want is for Phoebie to assume that we don’t love her as much as her younger brother. 

I must say though, that I am thankful for a Daughter who speaks up about her feelings. Because she speaks up, I know what she is thinking and can do something about it. I would probably have missed her emotions otherwise. This is also a good reminder that whenever I express my love for one child, I must make sure the other child knows that he/she is just as loved.

I only pray that I constantly remind myself to assure both my children of the same love I have for both of them, no matter how old they are.



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