I was packing the house at the end of a typical day, and I was mentally running through my to-do list for the next day. Suddenly, I realized that my to-do list is not limited to my daily stay-at-home-mum duties anymore, and I’m loving it.
My identity from the day Phoebie was born was changed to one – Mummy. I gave up my job as a counsellor to take care of my little girl myself. While it is a decision I have never regretted, I sometimes missed working and being more than just a mum. I missed doing things for me, doing things that say I am more than Phoebie’s mummy (as the nurses at the PD’s clinic would call me).
I gained one more identity when I came back from living in the U.S., and decided to start a blog about my life as a Mum. I became Mummy Priscilla the blogger. I love this identity because even thought I am not a famous blogger, I have loved writing since I was in primary school. It helps that being a mum blogger means I write about what is close to my heart.
I tried to restart another identity, being an events emcee, but that was left hanging for a while when Breyen came along. Instead, my mummy identity was upgraded from mummy of one to mummy of two. I decided to slow the emcee identity down because Breyen needed me more. Phoebie also needed time to adjust to her new identity of being a big sister.
Now that Breyen is older, I can start doing more again. And I love the escape I get when I freelance as an events emcee because I love hosting.
Now, if I love escaping from being a mum, why don’t I get a full time job then?
I just can’t bring myself to. No matter what, my children are always my priority and I want to take care of them. I want to blame no one but myself if they misbehave. I want to teach them manners and remind them to be kind, my way. I want to be the one to cook for them and do laundry for them.
Still, even with all that I want to do as mum, I don’t want to be known only as mum. I know, it sounds complicated and ironic.
I guess what I want to say is, being a stay-at-home-mum doesn’t mean that’s all I can be. I can be more. I can still do what I love and be my own person on top of being a stay-at-home-mum.
So what are the identities I have now?
I am Mummy to my two beautiful children, I am Mummy Priscilla the blogger, I am Priscilla the Emcee, and I am Prisclla the freelance writer.
I have more than one identity and I love it. When the kids are awake, I am mummy who takes care of the kids. When the kids are asleep, I am Priscilla who is chasing deadlines and organizing all my freelance work.
When I have to go for meetings and my mum babysits for me, I am Priscilla the professional. When I finish my meetings, I am mummy who misses my kids and comes home to love them more, feeling recharged from having time to me.
If you are a stay-at-home-mum too, I encourage you to find more identities for yourself. You are not just a mum, you are you. As long as your circumstances allow it, give yourself time to be you. It doesn’t have to be a job. It can be a hobby. You can be mummy-artist, mummy-knitting-queen, mummy-baker or mummy-whatever-you-love. You can have more than one identity.