2014 was probably the most emotional year of my life. Extreme lows and rocketed highs. Words are not enough to describe what a roller-coaster it was.
My life went into the deepest of pits when I lost my father to cancer. I was heavily pregnant and was looking forward to having him cook confinement food for me. Looking back, today marks one year since I last saw my dad well and conscious. He slipped into a coma after an emergency surgery on 2nd January last year. He was in a coma for exactly two months before he breathed his last.
The day my father passed away is so fresh in my mind that it feels like it just happened. My wish for him to see his grandson, my baby boy was dashed when he passed on.
More than a month after my father passed away, my baby boy was born. The arrival of my son changed a lot of things.
Ben and I became parents of two beautiful children.
Phoebie became a big sister.
I became a stay-at-home-Mum of two young children.
Learning to manage with two children took us a while. In fact, we are still learning new lessons every day.
My husband’s career took a change in direction too, which meant us having to adapt to changes in schedules. While adapting, my daughter sometimes bore the wrath of my sleep-deprived life. Thankfully, I had my mum to ask for help every now and then.
2014 saw our daughter, Phoebie, having to grow up rapidly. From an only child to a big sister, from having all our attention to herself, to having to share attention with her baby brother who needed loads of care.
2014 also brought us on our first family vacation. My uncles and aunties thought we were a little mad to bring a baby and a preschooler to Japan during winter, but it was an adventure that we wouldn’t exchange for anything else.
2014 ended reluctantly for me.
Maybe to some extent, I didn’t want 2014 to end because I didn’t want start counting anniversaries to the day my father passed away. I didn’t want to lose the year that I last talked to him. I didn’t want to lose the year that I held his hand firmly to my face.
I didn’t want to lose the year that my son is still a tiny baby. Ben and I discussed it and Breyen might be the last kid that we plan to have. I wanted to savour every moment Breyen is a cuddly, adorable baby.
2015, I had no choice. You’re here whether I like it or not. I guess the best way to deal with it is to embrace you. So, please be kind. Please be nice to me and all those I love.
I await big things this year. And the big things are the good kind. I know. I already received signs first thing on the first day of the year.