Questioning My Worth As A Stay-Home Mum

I love being a stay home mum. Well, on most days at least.

I wonder though, if I am the only stay home mum who will question my worth staying at home. I don’t doubt my decision every day, but it comes up every now and then.

I question my worth staying home when I see family and friends do well in their careers or businesses.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not envious of them. In fact, I am happy for them and proud of them that they achieve what they have. After all, for most of them, they had to put in a fair share of sweat and hard work too.

But I look at them and I wonder, could I have become someone more? More achievements and more financial sources.

It’s not like we lack a lot of money at home. My husband earns enough for us to live comfortably. We have a roof over our heads and we have decent meals every day. I must also say that it is all thanks to the financial stability my husband provides that I can stay home with the kids.

I told my mum how I felt about questioning whether I could have done more if I didn’t stay home.

“Are you crazy?”, was her response. “Who will look after your kids?”

I jokingly replied, “You. And then I will give you what I earn.”

While I laughed it off with my mum, I knew she was right. Who will look after the kids?

Of course I know there are many options to that question. There’s always a childcare centre, getting a nanny or a domestic helper. Deep down, I know both my husband and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

When I shared my doubts with my friends, one of them said, “Being a stay home mum is NOT easy! You are doing well!”

I can’t say if I am doing well but she’s right that it isn’t easy. On those crazy days when both kids decide to be difficult at the same time when I am cooking dinner, oh man!

But for the most part of it, I enjoy being a stay home mum. As much as I wish I could contribute financially to the household, I know that no amount of money is going to buy me all that precious time watching my kids grow up. Because I am home with the kids, my husband can also go to work knowing that he doesn’t have to worry about the household.

Of course, as a freelance events emcee, I also enjoy the occasional job that allows me a little breather and do another thing that I love. The job gives me some me-time, and gives the kids an opportunity to depend on someone else to look after their needs (and it’s usually their father).

I guess when moments of doubt pop in my head, I really need to at a good long look at my kids.

As I write, a baby is sleeping in my arms like it is the safest place in the world.

20141028-134912.jpg No achievement is going to buy me this moment with him.


3 thoughts on “Questioning My Worth As A Stay-Home Mum

  1. You are not the only one who asks that question now and then. I do it too. So don’t worry you are not alone. I reconcile it as what God wants me to do at this moment. Hugs 🙂 Gambatte!

  2. We always ask this question, whether we are on either side of the fence. For you to ask, means that you value the work that you do. And that, should be enough to justify your decision. There have been debates over both sides of the pasture, to be an SAHM, or working mom. And both sides have their arguments to no end. Both have their benefits, and both have their downsides as well. At the end of the day, we just have to know, that we are mothers, be it staying at home or working. And our responsibility is to provide the best upbringing for our children. And being contented in where we are, fully embracing each tasks that’s given to us. Jia you, you have been my encouragement whenever I think about SAHM..

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