Who Should I Comfort First?

I am cooking dinner while Phoebie is napping and Breyen is lying quietly on the play mat in the living room.

Just as I am about 80% done with cooking, I hear crying from Phoebie’s room. From the sounds of it, she probably had a bad dream and needed a hug. So I crank up the flame on the stove to finish up whatever I am cooking.

Just as I scoop food out from the pan, Breyen starts to cry too.

I hurriedly finished up in the kitchen while thinking, “Who should I comfort first? Phoebie or Breyen?”

Sounds a little silly to think so much. Just pick one, it doesn’t matter.

No, it matters, at least to me.

Why does it matter?

Simple. I don’t want Phoebie to think that her baby brother always comes before her. I don’t want her to feel hurt when she sees me walk into her room with her baby brother in my arms when she is already crying hysterically.

Am I thinking too much about how Phoebie may think? Maybe…

However, given that she has been extra sensitive ever since her baby brother arrived, I will show her that her baby brother has not taken her place, with whatever chance I have.

Don’t get me wrong. Phoebie loves Breyen and always wants to kiss and cuddle him. But I know that she gets upset sometime because Breyen needs a lot of attention now.

So I made my choice. With Breyen still crying on the play mat, I walk past him and go into Phoebie’s room. I give her a hug, carry her to the living room and put her on the couch. Assuring her that I will be back, I turned my attention to Breyen and notice that he needs a diaper change.

Phoebie is still crying when I come back but soon quietens down after drinking some water.

“I want to hug you and Didi (baby brother),” she said.


I wonder how different things would have been if I had attended to Breyen first and carried him into Phoebie’s room.


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