Acknowledging My Own Needs

I went to see a counsellor at my church today. It’s something that I have been wanting to do but have been pushing back for a while.

A lot has happened in the past year and while I have been behaving like I can handle things, I knew deep down that I needed help. Unfortunately, for some reason, I haven’t been able to articulate that to the people who care about me.

Facing the loss of a dear friend, the loss of my own child, the loss of a mentor, the relapse of my Dad’s cancer a few times now, handling relationships with my family plus the nitty gritty bits of life all in one year, I think I was beginning to see that I would crack if I didn’t seek help soon.

The meeting with the counsellor opened flood gates that I have been shutting for a long time, even to my husband. Because it is a church-based session, we prayed together and even looked at portions of the bible together. In some areas, the session helped me have a fresh revelation of how I have been handling things. In others, I will really need to try and make some shifts in how I think.

Ben happened to be on leave from work today and I told him that I would like to have some alone after the session. So I would only meet Phoebie and him at dinner time.

I went to a cafe and sat by myself for about 1.5 hours.

20130816-231611.jpg For the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to savour the time I had alone. I needed to learn to appreciate myself.

I took time to taste the cake instead of simply eating. I took time to smell the tea and taste every herb and berry that was in there. I challenged myself with not looking at my phone too much and simply listen to the cars go by. It felt great to just do that.

There are some things that are going to take time for me to learn, but at least for now, I have dealt with some emotions that have been buried hard and deep.

Finally allowing myself to be broken and to ask for help, I know I can only grow from here, and be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.

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2 thoughts on “Acknowledging My Own Needs

  1. Hi Pris,

    Have been reading your blog on and off for a while now. =) I appreciate your honesty in sharing bits of your life with us.

    Sometimes, we try to suppress our emotions for a variety of reasons – friends, family, trying to stay strong, fear of facing our emotions, who to trust with our raw emotions. I am glad that as believers, we always have Him to turn to, and He will guide us on our journey to wholeness. Reading your post reminds me that I need to face up and be honest about things I’ve been trying to handle myself and seek help too.

    I’m sorry you have gone through so much in the past year. Praying for your healing in every area. God bless you and your family!

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